Everybody needs to post their favorite Chuck Norris jokes.... Here are some of ours (feel free to post your own favorites....):
- When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the earth down.
- Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
- There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
- The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
2 comments:
Here are some more for your pleasure:
* Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
* There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
* Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
* Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
* If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
* A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
* Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
* A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
* Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
* When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
* Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
HAHAHA I found your blog tonight through Cami and I am laughing my guts out right now...this is so YOU!! I'm glad to see my loopie is still the same man he was 10 years ago! You're hilarious.
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